Mom's Post pt. 2

Can't sleep...

So, I finally stopped fighting the restlessness at 4:00 this morning in China. I am quite sure it is a combination of jet lag and the fact that I meet my 13-year-old daughter for the first time today. I am riddled with nervousness and uncertainty and, dare I say it??? Fear.  Which is typical of me, sadly, bc, you see, it doesn't matter how many times I see God's provision and miracles in my life, in His Word, and in the life of others...I still think I can make things better through worry. And so here I am, worrying. Worrying that she won't like us...well, me...lol. You see, after you are 10 years of age in China, you can actually CHOOSE not to go with your adoptive parents. It is rare, but it has happened. And I am certain it leaves those parents it has happened to with a sense of despondency and bitterness. Bitterness at the situation, and questioning the process, the ministry of it. BUT...what I know is this, when it is completely out of my hands...it is completely in God's hands.  Not just the good outcomes...or what we in our humanness would classify as good...but every outcome. The believer can know and trust that God IS GOOD!!! He never fails and HIS plans are always better than ours. So I can pray and trust that what God has begun here...He will complete...in the way HE has--- before the beginning of time!---pre-ordained and determined He would work out.  And that is more comforting than any perfect outcome my flawed and limited being could put in place. 

So pray for me to LET go and LET God complete what He started here!! Because He is good!

So a little background (DISCLAIMER: this is bc I know someone is reading this that God is calling to adopt and your child is WAITING for you;)---We had about a 45 minute bus ride to hotel and had a great time chatting with our guide.  She explained some of the cultural backdrop in China surrounding adoption and the orphans here.  She is Chinese herself and has spent over a decade working with adoption agencies to get orphans united with families.  She explained that Chinese families are given first priority for adoptions.  However, there is a great stigma associated with not having a biological child. And that most want babies that are healthy and considered "pleasant to look at". When they adopt, they often hide the fact that they are adopted bc of the stigma of adoption. Sooooo...what that leaves in most orphanages are children with special needs. And those special needs can range from mild (facial birth mark, repaired cleft lip, etc.) to more major (spina bifida, down syndrome) and a myriad in between.

The guide also explained that the general public, for years, did not understand the international adoption process. They saw foreigners coming and leaving with Chinese children , but so much of it was unexplained and shrouded in secrecy somewhat by the Chinese government. So much of her time as a guide, was spent explaining to the people why she was walking around with foreigners and a Chinese child. She said almost always, after explanation, the response from the Chinese is very supportive---they have a great heart for orphans as well, but have so many barriers whether government, culturally, or socially that make it difficult to adopt their own. I came across a wonderful organization through FB that actually comes alongside Chinese families to help them and give them support and strategies to keep and raise their biological children with special needs. It takes education and  support systems to tackle the stigma...but it can be done!!! In the meantime, however,there are children that need international families--Christians-- willing to be that support for them-to say "I am proud to be your mom or dad--your special need doesn't define you! You are loved. You are wanted!"

Jing Mei was found abandoned at two days old. Her special need---she is missing all her fingers on one hand and half her palm as well as her middle finger on her other hand-she was born that way. And while I will never know for certain, based on what I have learned about the stigma of deformities, I am imagining that the deformity of her hands was the painful reason she was abandoned. She has lived her entire life in the Shaoxing City Social Welfare Institute. This particular orphanage has never been open to international adoptions. We, along with three other families before us, are their "test pilots" per se.  They are hesitant and a little distrustful of the international process.  From what I know, it is a well-run, caring orphanage, but orphans are a way of life---they think the kids are doing well and so you almost have to prove to them that indeed, every child needs a family.  Please pray, that we will be great ambassadors to this process and we will make it easier on the families that come after us.  It is a great honor and privilege to be one of the first American families that this orphanage has opened its doors to.

AGAIN, Please pray for us today---in the next couple of hours as you lay your head down to sleep, we will be meeting our daughter. Pray for peace for her, for the presence of God to be felt, and His overwhelming love.

And pray for the thousands of other children here in China and even more across the world that need a home, need a family.