His Grace and Beautiful Creation---Dad's Post

Glad I knew to 'strap in' before this day started. 

You know it's gonna be a great day when your eyes POP open at 3am and you just fight for rest.  I'm sure I will get used to this side of the world in the next week or so......  right about the time I'm flying home.

We had an enjoyable breakfast at the hotel this morning and then decided to take a walk.  We told Jing Mei that we would purchase a couple of gifts for her to bring for our trip to Shaoxing.  So many thoughts have flooded my mind about the visit.  I think my initial thoughts were to take the easiest path for myself, just quickly leave and make it back to my home, my comfort zone, my place of peace and rest (Sure I can rest with 8 kids!!, Let me dream!!).  When I place my thoughts on Jing Mei and listen to those that have traveled this road before us, they all seem to discuss how emotional and hard the orphanage visit was BUT also how important it was to their child.  So, we will make that trip tomorrow - PLEASE pray for Jing Mei, that she would have peace during this time and would see comfort in her new family and resist those urges to stay in familiarity.

Back to today.....

I quickly realized that the shopping areas near the hotel, well they aren't what I'm used to.  Burberry, Dolce & Gabana, Gucci, Tiffany, Louis Vuitton, etc etc etc

So we kept walking until we came across a super market type of place.  Jing Mei found a candle and holder for a teacher/worker that she has grown close to while living in the orphanage for the last 14 years.  Chloe went for a bag of chips and quickly realized that she would wait until later to eat as she had lost her appetite.

 We met our guide and driver back at the hotel and things took a step back.  Jing Mei quickly left us to be with them.  I understand communication is MUCH easier with them but it still brought me down as she didn't want to acknowledge me for the next few hours.  We went to West Lake which is very popular for tourism and I have to say..... God did a wonderful job, absolutely beautiful!  I hope you can see at least a portion of how gorgeous it was in the following pictures.

I've seen His grace in the way that he could actually love this wretch that I am and so much so that He gave his life for my sins.  

I also have to say, He truly blessed me and showered me with grace by allowing me to marry UP (Okay, WAY UP).

For the record though........  Even the selfie stick girls weren't smiling!  Maybe just a cultural thing....(fun fact: Did you know that the selfie stick was actually invented in the 80s?  Okay, not fun but still a fact)       

And someone PLEASE tell me when Chloe got so grown....... I don't remember allowing that!!  She makes me a proud father every day - You are beautiful Chloe!!

And Chloe has such a fun personality, we really appreciated having her on this trip to bring smiles into some pretty scary and sad places...... (Like West Lake & Pizza Hut where we were 'sharing good time' just like the wall told us to)

 As I started writing the blog Jing Mei walked in with tears in her eyes and the translator in her hand.  She handed it to me and the translation wasn't perfect but basically stated "Dad,  I really don't think I am ready for the expectations of the USA.  I am worried that I will be wrong and my friend won't be okay"
I pulled a seat next to mine and began to quickly type messages into the device.  I kept each short so that it did not get lost in translation.   'There is NO expection'  'your mom and I think you are so brave'  'so many changes' 'We love you'  'You are my daughter'  'God created you for this family'  ......   I told her how Wade wanted us to let her know that he was scared and angry when he was adopted and now he is very happy.  I pulled up our blog from over 3 years ago and showed her a few of the pictures of Wade and confirmed that she understood.  I hugged her although it was short.... The tears slowly began to stop and I asked if there was anything I could do for her.  She stated no and got up and walked into the other room.  Chloe was waiting quietly as she sensed the tense emotion and exchange.  She got an update from me and then went to Jing Mei who nodded that she was okay and gave a small smile....... small but powerful.
Natalie was so exhausted that she crashed shortly after our dinner and was quick to ensure that Jing Mei was okay.  When she entered, it was great to see that Jing Mei was doing english/mandarin lessons on the iPad.  She showed us one of the steps and we jumped for joy as she responded correctly.  Such encouragement to see her not only come out of the fear BUT to come on with courage and a desire to work on this barrier.  This barrier may slow our communication but it will not slow our love for her and our God's love for His children that He has called us to care for.

So you may have asked 'what friend was Jing Mei speaking of'?  Well as we rode to West Lake she asked if we would adopt more children from her orphanage.  She then told us of her friend... She is 10 years old and has been at the orphanage since she was 1 month old.  With Jing Mei being there since she was a baby, this has to be a very strong bond and friendship.  We told her that we were definitely open to another adoption and that we have friends that are also looking at adoption......   She said "Are they close to Tennessee where I will live?".   Oh if I could have placed everyone in that car as we responded yes and her eyes lit up with joy and she placed her perfect hands together and shook them with excitement.  We are going to the orphanage tomorrow and we will meet her friends (one is 17 and no longer able to be adopted).  I know that this girl WILL have a family to love her...... to be able to come to during a fearful moment and say 'Dad, I don't know if I will live up to the expectation of a family'.   There is no ending where I don't think she deserves this!

I can't help but remember when I thought 'Dad, I don't think I can live up to the expectation.'   and He told me that His grace and unfailing love doesn't have strings attached...... Oh what a freeing and humbling moment!

Please pray for us... for Jing Mei that she would make it through tomorrow with peace and comfort..... for the other children there including her friend, that while I'm typing these words that God has already confirmed their families and they are making their way - whether they are at the first point of accepting that 'call', clawing through the paperwork or whatever point they may be at...... just pray that they will make it to their son and daughter.

Your friend and brother,
Don

The bottom fell out...

I knew it would. I witnessed it before with Wade, read up on it in my required adoption training, heard tale of others who have trekked this road before us. The newness and excitement of the day before gave way to shadows and darkness of the night as we all slept. And Jing Mei woke up, no longer enticed by the clothes we bought, or the excitement of the new, but tired and lonely and fed up with the whole idea of us becoming her family. I could feel the stirring and unease, read it on her face and I tried smiling more, laughing more (laughing is universal, right?), and using the translator to reassure her for the 100th time that she would learn English fast and make lots of new friends and have a wonderful, happy life with us in the US. But I knew it was the start of grief. And all we could/can do is wade right through it with her. Just like before, when we adopted Wade, I waited for the full force of the grief to hit like a tsunami...and it did.

She was very quiet at breakfast. Compliant, but distant. The bounce in her step-gone:( We walked around the busy streets a little before we had to meet the guide to head back to the home office and sign the "official" papers. The ones we signed yesterday were for this sort of "guardianship" period---I guess where, we have 24 hours to change our mind and choose not to adopt her.  Evidently, that happens more than I would have imagined. Sad:( I don't know if people come with expectations for immediate skipping off into the sunset, and when instead, they are met with kids who are angry or resentful of them---they think, "ok, this isn't what I signed up for. Never mind." Who knows the whys. But I think it is important for people who are going to adopt to hear this side of adoption from families that have been there.  I am not sure why, but I think it is somewhat shrouded in secrecy because we think that if we are truly transparent about the messy parts of this process---that people will avoid adoption---or maybe it just doesn't fit in the beautiful picture of adoption that we want to create. "Kid was abandoned, or parents died. Child is living in a social welfare institute and languishes each day, waiting for mom and dad. Mom and Dad rescue them from the painful existence as an orphan---and the child is eternally grateful."

That may happen in some instances, but that is not the way it played out for Wade, and I am seeing that it will not be like that for Jing Mei. After breakfast, we headed to the home office as they call it, to end the "guardianship" period, and make the adoption permanent.  When we got to the office and sat down at the same desk she had been so bubbly at the day before---she put her head down. And I knew...the waves were coming.  We asked her if she was okay, and she wouldn't look up. And first the quiet tears came, then the shaking of the body that finally gave way to full blown sobbing. And my heart broke bc I knew that this had to happen. There was no way around the grief process--the loss of what is familiar.  I patted her back and waited for any invitation that I could hug her.  She tensed at the pat, so I waited. Finally, though I just couldn't stand it and I had to wrap my arms around her. So I did--and she let me, although I am not entirely sure she wanted me to. The guide came in and began to try and console her. We all did. To no avail. We took a family photo---her eyes were swollen and her hair messy and it broke my heart. But I have been through this before, and I know there is a light to the end of this long, dark tunnel. And God will perfect and accomplish all that He begins and He is in this. When we adopted Wade over three years ago, he was so angry. He wasn't sobbing...he was all out angry! He would turn around in his chair and refuse to acknowledge us at the table in China, he would not pose with us for family pics, he even threw things, and yelled goodness knows what---I would not have wanted a translator for some of the things that came out of his mouth! It was exhausting, that trip to adopt him.  And I can tell you, that whatever you deal with or encounter regarding your child while still in China completing the process, or in the first few weeks and months at home---is truly NOT an indicator of their personality. They are grieving and grief comes out in many different ways.  It is NOT personal--so my job is to stay focused on Christ and stay on my knees in prayer for my child---my sweet child that did not come from my womb, but has been given to me just the same. I will have to work hard to earn her love and trust. I don't automatically get it from her bc I am handing mine out. Even if a kid says, "Yeah, I want a mom and a dad. Yeah, I would like to go to the US.", that does not mean that when it begins to play out, that they will comprehend any of it as a good thing. This is the part about older child adoptions that is JUST REALLY HARD. It took about twenty minutes of talking with her to coax her out of the home office. She would not get up from her chair. I think she was hoping that if she just refused to leave the seat, that maybe she could just go back to the orphanage---the only home she has ever known---and the place where everyone speaks her language. The guide kept speaking with her, trying to soothe her, but to no avail. She wasn't budging.  Finally, the mother in me asked the guide to step out and let me deal with it. Keep in mind, we have no internet connection at the home office, so, I can't actually translate anything I want to say in Chinese and I have asked the only person that can, to leave. Don, Chloe, and I were in the room and I began to try to make motions and somehow explain through gestures that we need to go. That she can be sad and cry, but continuing to sit in this chair won't change anything.  She gets up after a minute or two and what the guide cannot convince her to do in 20 minutes time, she does of her own will after a few stumbling motions and gestures from this woman and this man that are now called "mom" and "dad". She gets in the van and I breathe a sigh of relief, but I know all too well, that this is just one of many waves to come. A small, but brief victory. We are all quiet on the drive back to the hotel and when we arrive she gets out. We stand and talk to the guide and driver for a minute---well, not so much the driver bc he does not speak a lick of English and all of the sudden, we see her head back to the van.  She is motioning that she wants back in---and bless her heart, I realize she is desperately wanting to change this story. I don't know if she was telling him to take her back to the home office or back to her orphanage, but she looked very determined. And the driver and guide began talking to her and I felt the wave crashing.  And I prayed over her, over us silently as they conversed. She finally agreed to head inside the hotel, but not without the driver. Keep in mind--she had just met this driver! But for whatever reason, he was a comfort to her and to us. And this man, that spoke not a lick of English became my hero as he walked her all the way to the elevator, got on the elevator and rode it up with us to the 19th floor and all the way to our room. I was beginning to think he might stay with us and at what point that would be awkward, but he waved goodbye to her as we walked in our room and said something to her in Chinese, and headed off.  It is interesting to note, that he was not supposed to be our driver today. He was the brother of the driver we have this week, but was sick today-so he asked his brother to fill in. Funny how God is in the details...So we breathed another sigh of relief and rested between waves. Again, unlike when you adopt a young child, we can't distract her with a trinket, or silly antics...although we still try....she was curled up on the bed earlier refusing to talk to us. Don kept asking her if she would like to do this, or that, and for about 20 minutes all she would say to any/all questions was "no." Then, out of desperation, I guess, he asked if she would like to see him dance. For some reason, that peaked her interest and she said, "yes". So Don put on "Shake it Off" by Taylor Swift and began dancing. In the hotel room. And Chloe and I joined him. And she peeked her head out from under the covers and watched this crazy new family of hers dance.  It was like some sort of release of tension and emotion and silliness. We danced, and danced...and we are NOT dancers. And she smiled. And we took the moment as a victory---however small.  At one point...a little later, Don did something else that made her laugh---I can't even remember what it was, but she burst out laughing, and then the laugh turned slowly into this cry. Like somehow she had betrayed herself by laughing:(

I have a feeling I will be reaching out for prayers and I myself will be leaning on God's Word the way I should every day anyways.  I share all of this with you because we need prayers. But also, again, so that I can be transparent with those considering adoption. This is a race of endurance. When you adopt an older child, you have committed to have your life altered as you know it. It is not a convenient road, it is not a smooth road--it is bumpy and hard, and your wheels break off and your lungs give way to the intensity of the climb, but the view at the top is worth it!! I didn't know I had a Chinese son named Wade four years ago waiting for me in China. And when we were in China bringing him home, I was literally just trying to survive all the failed expectations I had for he and I. But I can tell you, I love him with a hard fought love now. I miss him when he is not around---he is my son. And the anger he went through the first year pales in comparison to the blessing he is as a son and brother.  I know this ---and so I am aware that all that we go through with Jing Mei right now will pale in comparison to the gifts her life will bring to our family down the road---and even now in the midst of the grief.

Keep us in your prayers---more than anything, pray that we would be faithful to call upon the Lord and walk in faith and not weary of what we are doing here.

Dad's Post

The day is still young and as I sit and look at Jing Mei and Chloe watching a Chinese drama I need to thank ALL of you! UPDATE: (eagles just attacked a ninja team that was trying to hurt the princess...... from what I can see anyway - lol)
The day has been a smooth one. Jing Mei was hesitant but only for a short while. As Chloe mentioned she has a skip to her walk..... I hope that is joy and excitement overcoming the doubt and fear!

Only He can prepare such a day! Your prayers are being heard and anwered and I can't thank you enough.

Just a total mess of emotions.... pride, excitement, joy - in my friends and my family with a touch of nerves as we transition and as I am away from the rest of my kiddos. I miss them very much.

The guide stated that Hangzhou was very nice and the latest statistics stated that there is 1 tree per person which is great for the Hangzhou environment.  Ok.... I'm not gonna count by no means but I'm gonna say we have a few trees per person in the Chattanooga area, just a few :)

How about a pagoda pic (on the hill behind the beautiful trees)....

I wanted to share a father/daughter pic...... Myself, Jing Mei & Chloe...... being...Chloe!

Don't worry....I'm not a novelist, my entry is finished.

I love you guys and keep the thoughts and prayers coming our way,

Don

At the Hotel With Jing Mei

Our guide, Susan, dropped us off at the airport yesterday. We had a flight scheduled for 2:30. When we were weighing our bags, the lady behind the desk said that there was an earlier flight for 12:10 that we could make (it was about 11:50 at the time). We said we wanted the flight, so she gave us boarding passes. We got through security and saw that it was already 12:20. We ran all the way to our gate and the plane was already boarded and they wouldn't let us in. When we tried to go back to our original 2:30 flight time, they said it was already full. We tried to explain our situation and they redirected us to a desk where someone could help us. We eventually got our seats on the 2:30 flight, which is great because the next flight after that was at 5:00. We then went and ate at KFC, got some sodas, and then boarded our plane.

We arrived in Huangzhou last night at around 5:30, and then took a long bus ride to our hotel. We got to meet our new guide named Rainbow. Her English is good, but not quite as good as Susan's. On the way to the hotel, the sun was setting, and it was absolutely gorgeous.

When we got to our hotel we were pretty hungry, and we saw this cute restaurant with red lanterns. So we went there and asked for the menu. We didn't recognize anything on the menu, so we had to look for another place to eat. We couldn't see any other decent places, and then we stumbled upon KFC. So we ate there again. While we were at KFC we saw this Chinese girl with the words "I not a person" on her shirt. I wonder if she actually knows what that says or means.......

At our hotel breakfast buffet there were some interesting items. 

But thankfully there was actual bacon!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

We now have Jing Mei with us at the hotel. When we first met her she was a little quiet, but now she's warming up. She talked a lot with the staff of the orphanage, our guide, and our driver. I only can wonder what they were saying, though. She skips around a lot, and even when she's only walking, there's definitely a bounce in her step. She is watching a Chinese movie right now that she seems to like a lot. She really loves her clothes, and when we told her to pick an outfit to go eat in she asked me to help her pick. She is a very enjoyable person and I can't wait to get to know her better. She smiles a lot and I think this day has gone very well. Please keep Jing Mei in your prayers. 

Mom's Post pt. 2

Can't sleep...

So, I finally stopped fighting the restlessness at 4:00 this morning in China. I am quite sure it is a combination of jet lag and the fact that I meet my 13-year-old daughter for the first time today. I am riddled with nervousness and uncertainty and, dare I say it??? Fear.  Which is typical of me, sadly, bc, you see, it doesn't matter how many times I see God's provision and miracles in my life, in His Word, and in the life of others...I still think I can make things better through worry. And so here I am, worrying. Worrying that she won't like us...well, me...lol. You see, after you are 10 years of age in China, you can actually CHOOSE not to go with your adoptive parents. It is rare, but it has happened. And I am certain it leaves those parents it has happened to with a sense of despondency and bitterness. Bitterness at the situation, and questioning the process, the ministry of it. BUT...what I know is this, when it is completely out of my hands...it is completely in God's hands.  Not just the good outcomes...or what we in our humanness would classify as good...but every outcome. The believer can know and trust that God IS GOOD!!! He never fails and HIS plans are always better than ours. So I can pray and trust that what God has begun here...He will complete...in the way HE has--- before the beginning of time!---pre-ordained and determined He would work out.  And that is more comforting than any perfect outcome my flawed and limited being could put in place. 

So pray for me to LET go and LET God complete what He started here!! Because He is good!

So a little background (DISCLAIMER: this is bc I know someone is reading this that God is calling to adopt and your child is WAITING for you;)---We had about a 45 minute bus ride to hotel and had a great time chatting with our guide.  She explained some of the cultural backdrop in China surrounding adoption and the orphans here.  She is Chinese herself and has spent over a decade working with adoption agencies to get orphans united with families.  She explained that Chinese families are given first priority for adoptions.  However, there is a great stigma associated with not having a biological child. And that most want babies that are healthy and considered "pleasant to look at". When they adopt, they often hide the fact that they are adopted bc of the stigma of adoption. Sooooo...what that leaves in most orphanages are children with special needs. And those special needs can range from mild (facial birth mark, repaired cleft lip, etc.) to more major (spina bifida, down syndrome) and a myriad in between.

The guide also explained that the general public, for years, did not understand the international adoption process. They saw foreigners coming and leaving with Chinese children , but so much of it was unexplained and shrouded in secrecy somewhat by the Chinese government. So much of her time as a guide, was spent explaining to the people why she was walking around with foreigners and a Chinese child. She said almost always, after explanation, the response from the Chinese is very supportive---they have a great heart for orphans as well, but have so many barriers whether government, culturally, or socially that make it difficult to adopt their own. I came across a wonderful organization through FB that actually comes alongside Chinese families to help them and give them support and strategies to keep and raise their biological children with special needs. It takes education and  support systems to tackle the stigma...but it can be done!!! In the meantime, however,there are children that need international families--Christians-- willing to be that support for them-to say "I am proud to be your mom or dad--your special need doesn't define you! You are loved. You are wanted!"

Jing Mei was found abandoned at two days old. Her special need---she is missing all her fingers on one hand and half her palm as well as her middle finger on her other hand-she was born that way. And while I will never know for certain, based on what I have learned about the stigma of deformities, I am imagining that the deformity of her hands was the painful reason she was abandoned. She has lived her entire life in the Shaoxing City Social Welfare Institute. This particular orphanage has never been open to international adoptions. We, along with three other families before us, are their "test pilots" per se.  They are hesitant and a little distrustful of the international process.  From what I know, it is a well-run, caring orphanage, but orphans are a way of life---they think the kids are doing well and so you almost have to prove to them that indeed, every child needs a family.  Please pray, that we will be great ambassadors to this process and we will make it easier on the families that come after us.  It is a great honor and privilege to be one of the first American families that this orphanage has opened its doors to.

AGAIN, Please pray for us today---in the next couple of hours as you lay your head down to sleep, we will be meeting our daughter. Pray for peace for her, for the presence of God to be felt, and His overwhelming love.

And pray for the thousands of other children here in China and even more across the world that need a home, need a family. 

About to Leave for Huangzhou

We landed in Beijing last night (morning for you guys) after our long 14 hour flight. We got off our plane, got our bags, and then saw that our guide wasn't there yet. After a bit of waiting, she came running in, and we took an hour long bus ride to our hotel. We were the only people on the bus, along with our guide, so we talked about Jing Mei quite a lot. Susan (our guide) talked about how Jing Mei worries a lot about the language barrier.The guide taught me a little Chinese on the bus and she said to try and learn a little more so Jing Mei would feel better.

Here is a picture of Mom and me in Beijing.

After we got to our hotel we were hungry, so we went to McDonald's. It's definitely a little different from the ones I've seen in America.....

 

This is their Bacon Cheeseburger. I think it's just ham..???

 

We were SO exhausted..... slept pretty well although I was up for a little while at 3 am......

 

 

This morning we ate at our hotel's breakfast buffet. I have to say I was disappointed. They didn't even have bacon. They had Chow Mein, vegetables, tomatoes......

They also had this lovely item:

 

We are flying out to Jing Mei's town (Huangzhou) later today and we will meet her tomorrow. Please pray that God will ready her heart and she won't be too scared. Also pray that we know what to say to her.

 

Mom's Post

It is kind of an assumed thing that when you adopt, you have a blog. Even the grant organizations for adoptions will ask you the name of your blog when you are filling out applications. I remember kind of being frustrated, thinking, gosh, if everybody has a blog they expect people to read, and everybody is sitting around reading blogs all day or wanting people to read theirs---isn't that kind of self-absorbed??

Still, I knew we would need to update close family and friends, and because I continued to feel the slight pressure to do so, I was kind of relieved when Chloe said she would like to do all our posting. Don't get me wrong, blogs can be great things, but my fear is that it would come off as a showcase to our family, or an "oh, look how great we are and this wonderful thing we are doing". Honestly, I still would be happy to pass every entry along to my daughter, because I want no part of anything that attempts to bring the focus off of God and onto human effort. There is really nothing special about our family or our ability to parent our children, or anything that would set us apart from others except that we are believers, flawed and in need of God's grace and mercy daily. Even as I write this, I think about friends and family that may read this and from my viewpoint, are much more equipped than I am to this ministry of adoption. Sometimes, I think, "Really God? You would lay this on our heart, on my heart??? But I am unorganized, impatient, constantly failing--constantly stumbling over the same sins and like a kid, either hiding my face from God in shame over these same battles I struggle with, or promising God I will be better tomorrow. A better wife, a better mom, a better friend, a better child of God. I know, I know...maybe those thoughts aren't biblical, or maybe they are "works-based" or legalistic, but still--they are my struggles. My DAILY struggle. And so knowing this--I had put this down along with a list of reasons why I should NOT adopt. That, along with finances, and having a large family already. And so, I began making the process of adoption centered on "me" instead of the wonderful, beautiful children that need a home and family, and the God that calls us to provide that.

In my attempt to be super humble about my qualifications or lack thereof to adopt an orphan--I almost missed out on adopting our son Wade. And in my attempt to be "humble" and not do a blog, someone might miss hearing what GOD is doing and HAS done in the heart of this family and in the miracle of the whole process. The truth is, I dislike blogging GREATLY...but if God uses it for just ONE family's heart to be tugged on, it is worth one hundred families mistaking my blogs for any other intent.

Any time I post, at any point, (I will go ahead and write the disclaimer now:), it is for the sole purpose of encouraging and stirring others on to adopt. There are families, a wife, a husband, maybe both that are reading this RIGHT NOW and they have a child waiting on them somewhere. A child that didn't come from their own bodies, but was created by God to be their child, nonetheless. Even as I type this, i have families flashing through my mind that I hope will open their hearts to the calling of adoption. They have seen it play out in our family with Wade over the past three years, and will watch this new chapter unfold as Jing Mei becomes part of us and we become part of her.

My desire is to always be transparent---for those of you that know us well, we adopted Wade when he was seven. This little guy came to us with memories, and anger built up from being left by his biological mom at a train station, being stuck in a special education class because no one wanted to take the time to realize he needed hearing aids and glasses, and living in an institutional setting that treated him like a number. Its amazing to me, as I look back, those first few weeks, months, year---that we expected him to have this automatic, built-in gratefulness for what we had done. That he would immediately have this unwavering love, gratitude, and thankfulness because we "rescued" him. Instead, we had a little person with baggage heavier than any seven-year-old or adult for that matter, should ever have to carry. Instead of thank you, we got screams of "I hate you" in Chinese, or the silent treatment, or even refusal to acknowledge us completely! And I am embarrassed to say, it made me mad. You see, what I had pictured of adoption was a "self-centered" reason for adopting---it was not intentional, but still, even in the midst of God calling me to do it, my heart (well, part of it), had gotten misplaced. And so Wade and I struggled to find that place where God wanted us---both broken, both needing each other, and both needing Him. Wade sort of brought me to the end of myself and still does, but in a good way. I love him--and he loves me, and we are thankful for EACH OTHER. And I cannot imagine life without him in it. And Wade knows I am on this journey with him--we are family. We mess up, we sin, we are imperfect, but constantly changing, growing, giving and receiving mercy--and Wade has given me so much more grace and mercy over the years parenting him than I have EVER deserved. It has been amazing to walk Wade through the Bible and who God is, and to see that change who WE BOTH ARE. Still not perfect---far from it, but God is so good and his grace is more than enough to bridge the gaps between our family's stumbling. And what I now sheepishly realize is that Wade DESERVED a family...and not just any family---God made him and had a plan for him from birth! That he would be ours-as imperfect and flawed as we are! We were meant to be home and family for him. He shouldn't have to extend unwavering gratitude bc he now had a mom and dad. EVERY kid should have a mom and dad! It is his right to wake up every day and know that he is loved and we are there for him through highs and lows.

Since starting this process just a few short months ago for Jing Mei, I have seen sweet babies die before their adoptive parents could complete all the adoption paperwork and simply not make it to their child in time to save their life. This time around, FB has made it so "real" to me--kids dying from lack of medical care in other countries--- I have faces to go with it now. Its real!!! And I can't imagine that these kids die without the love of their mom and dad---my mind can drive myself crazy thinking, "Who held them as they drew their last breath, did they feel loved by anyone? Did anyone care for them?" One of the things that angered me and bewildered me at the same time when we adopted Wade was that no one was attached to him. This is not always the case, but in Wade's it was. And too often it is. When we went to his orphanage, his bed was in a room with about 40 other beds. All neat and tidy. It wasn't old or unsanitary--in fact I am quite sure it is more sanitary than my home on any given day;), but he was just a number. I kept looking and searching the faces of the workers and teachers that knew him and was sure I would see someone that would miss him--had loved him. But it was like they didn't even really know him! And he had been there for THREE years!! That ought not be! Wade will need new kidneys at some point---I hope and pray that somehow either Don or I will be a good match for him, only God knows that. But what I do know, is that he has a family that will go to the ends of the earth for him and will be there to comfort him through dialysis, or sickness, and every part of that process. He will NOT go through that alone. He was never intended to go through it alone, of course, because, AGAIN God knew we would be his family. And I am proud to be his mother, in spite of my shortcomings, my sin nature, my impatience, my failures----we are family.

So here we are again. I am a little better prepared this time. I do NOT expect undying gratitude or that Jing Mei will be able to assimilate seamlessly into our family and we will all skip off in the sunset together. Some days will be good, some days will be hard, some days I will fail miserably and beg for forgiveness, and always be thankful that God's mercies are new each day---however undeserving I am. We are NOT picture-perfect. I may have a lot of kids, and we may look really cute walking into church, but we fail daily. And it ain't always pretty at our house. But, we know the race, we know it is endurance and undeserved grace and mercy that gets us though and our prayer is that in our flaws we would STILL somehow be able to point our children toward Christ. And our home is open, and our hearts are open and we pray that something in our story would be used by God to draw others to orphans. You will not regret becoming a parent to the fatherless. You may fall some days or think you aren't equipped--and guess what??? You aren't! But God is. And there are kids waiting. Kids dying. Kids that may live, but still are dying without the knowledge of Christ. They need the body of Christ to step in tangibly, not just monetarily, and not just "oh, I will pray for the orphans"....get on rainbowkids.org or adoptuskids.org or wacap.org or Lifeline and LOOK at these kids--their faces, their stories...they are REAL and one of them could very well be YOUR CHILD. And if you ever want to talk or ask questions of Don or I, don't hesitate. We will be real and we will most likely know any feeling you are struggling with. We had them all. I am telling you, they seem very trivial in light of what Wade means to me as my son, and what I know Jing Mei already means to me and will mean to me.

Thank you to those who have prayed or given us money---know that I am praying that we are able to come alongside some of you (hopefully a lot of you) to adopt.

Airport Boredom

We're getting through our four hour layover in Detroit. It's a surprisingly quiet airport, despite the size. At least it's not seven hours like last time. That was TERRIBLE. While this layover is not enjoyable for us, God has a plan for everything and maybe Jing Mei just needs a little more time for God to prepare her heart. Please pray that she is ready when we get there. 

The Detroit airport has a nice red train that drives by where we are every once in a while. The first few times it's kinda cool! But now I am very sick of that train. It just goes back and forth over, and over, and over, and over............Also, every 10 minutes a voice says "Detroit is in the Eastern Time Zone". Really helpful reminder, right? Not if you have to hear it repeatedly for 4 hours! But again, God has a plan in this! 

                                Here's that wonderful train I was telling you about:

- Chloe Jenkins -

Just Got off of our Video Call with Jing Mei!!!!!!!!

Just got off of our call with Jing Mei and it was another success!!!!!!! I asked her (in Chinese) what activities she enjoyed and she said she liked running. My mom, being enthusiastic about running herself, liked that a lot. Jing Mei said she wants to run with mom when she gets home. We showed her a few pictures of herself and she said something in Chinese. I really wish I knew the language right now. We showed her some of her clothes and she said they were very beautiful. She seemed excited when we told her it was only three days until we go to China and she said "I'll wait for you". It was very sweet. She calls me Clo. ;). Please be praying for her and for us as we're about to leave for China.

Uh-Oh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok so we kinda have a problem. We scheduled the next video chat for Monday-- but we didn't specify the time. Chinese time is twelve hours later than our time. So apparently Jing Mei was expecting a call from us at 8:30 tonight (which is Monday morning there). I feel so bad and I hope she isn't upset...........
We are trying to ask if we can video chat with her now and we told them to tell her we are so sorry. Please pray that we can work something out!!!

Preparing for the Next Chapter in our Family's Life!

We will be flying out a week from today and I can't tell you how excited I am!! There are so many preparations to be made! We learned that Jing Mei is 5 feet 3 inches and weighs 85 pounds, and when we were shopping for her clothes we had to get them all from the kids section. It's really important to buy her some outfits because she'll only have the clothes on her back when we adopt her. I really hope that they fit; it's very hard to know what clothes are her size. It's a lot more difficult to shop in China. We made that mistake with Wade and it took us forever just to buy socks. So it's easier to get decent clothes for a reasonable price here. And we can always return them if they don't fit. 

Me and Jing Mei will also be sharing a room when she gets here, but luckily we already have two twin beds from our guest room that we can sleep on. I've always wanted to share a room with someone so I'm looking forward to that!

We will Skype Jing Mei on Monday so we're praying that all goes well.

Please be praying that God will prepare Jing Mei's heart for this big change in her life.

Just Finished Video Chatting with Jing Mei!!

We just got off a call with Jing Mei and i think it went GREAT!!!! :) Tons of smiles- on both sides - and we got to learn about some of her interests. She said mom is young and beautiful- which left Dad feeling a little down. ;) She knows a little English (very basic stuff like Hello and such). I can't describe how absolutely beautiful she is. She said she was excited to see us and wanted to teach us Chinese if we would teach her English. She asked if Wade knew Chinese, and we told her no. About mid-way through the conversation, the boys started wrestling and fell off the couch and out of camera view. Jing Mei thought that was really funny. We showed her the picture we have of her and she looked away and started laughing. She told me that her favorite color is yellow, she likes to eat vegetables, and all she wants to do for her birthday is hang out with me (i'm pretty sure the translator told her to say that though). ;) She looks forward to our video chat next week- and I can't wait either!!!!!!

Please Pray!!!!

The orphanage just told Jing Mei she had a family!! She is extremely nervous, though. The main reason she is nervous is communication. She is scared to be in America, where no one speaks her language. I absolutely understand what she's feeling. There's no way I wouldn't have some concerns with moving by myself to China. Tons of people talking, maybe about me, and I have no idea what they're saying. We will be able to Skype her tomorrow night, and I'm going to try and memorize a few Chinese phrases i might want to say to her. I hope this will give her a little more security. That's what sisters are for, right? ;) We are also going to buy a portable translator so that she can just type what she's thinking and we'll see it in English. We'll be able to tell her things too. I really hope she feels comfortable with us. The other thing is she thinks it's very odd that we have a pet dog ( i guess they don't have pets in China??). 

Since she is above 10, when she meets us she has a choice if she wants to go to America with us or not. I cannot tell you how sad I would be if she didn't want to come with us. It's very rare that this happens, but it is always a possibility. Please pray that God will give Jing Mei peace.

Brittany's Hope Grant

www.brittanyshope.org/seedling/jenkins




This is a seedling matching grant. If we have 5,000 dollars in two weeks, they will give us 5,000 in return. They wont't let us donate to ourselves though! So our only hope is you! Please give as you feel led! :)

Fundraiser Puzzle!!!!

Hey guys!! This is our fundraiser puzzle for Jing Mei!! You can buy a puzzle piece for $10. All money donated goes towards the plane tickets and the adoption, of course. We are about 90% there, but it has taken us a while to put this hard puzzle together! Thank you to all of the people who have helped put this puzzle- and our family- together :).

We got our travel dates and will be flying out in two weeks!!!

It's finally here!! We got our travel date (April 24th) and were just informed that Jing Mei will find out that she has a family within the next few days. It's been a chaotic few weeks, with Mom and Dad frantically trying to get documents from the US to China. The orphanage is planning on letting us Skype Jing Mei over the next week and I'm nervous as to what she'll think of us and how she'll feel about having 7 siblings. The orphanage also allowed us to write letters to her; I tried to include pictures and information on all of our ages so that it won't be as much of a shock. I just can't wait to be in China and show her how much our family loves her. We thank all the friends who have graciously donated, making this a reality.

Please keep Jing Mei in your prayers.